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You don't have to be Blonde to be Beautiful (2)

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At times, life just doesn't seem fair, does it! Even the beloved bottled redheads look quite chic when their color formula is customized. I am not putting blondes out in the cold, but let's face it; we are always assured to see their fair quota of models every time we open a magazine. There seems to be an epidemic of blonde hair and big blue eyes in Hollywood and so far, they haven't invented a vaccination against this catastrophe. I'm surprised the pharmaceutical industry hasn't invented a high priced remedy for them to take.
 
      Think for a moment, just one glance at a rich coppery red color under a wintery purple hat. This can be very exciting when the snow begins to fall, and this whole scene becomes almost poetic, definitely for a heartfelt romantic that could possibly spring from the pages of a Victorian novel. What can be compared to such competition?
 
      Except the brunette of course, because there are many more brunettes decidedly red today instead of blonde, are you confused yet? Does this actually mean that the majority of reds and blondes that we see today are in reality brown? My professional instinct would say a resounding yes! I must confess, I sometimes do what other hairdressers do (but will not admit) when they are bored in Church and already know what the Pastor is saying. I begin to take my own special secret survey, as I look around at all of the back of the heads and see which ones are tinted and which ones have perms, or both. Now you know. Still, if this is the case, our main problem is still at hand and how does one deal with so many cutie patootie blondes walking and driving to work, skiing the slopes in their pretty little pink outfits, shopping for food, becoming lawyers and even doctors and making it to Hollywood! Ladies! I am here to say, we just have to do something about this!
 
      This contagious phenomenon must be professionally halted and it is up to hairdressers from all over the world to begin petitions by email and when they get 5,000 signatures they are to send it to those in to their legislature. To all the natural blondes, brunettes and redheads in the world, now is the time to take a stand against this plague. If we don't begin to stop the blonde production, what is the world going to look like in the years up ahead? What would we be leaving our children and grandchildren to deal with after we are gone! It is up to us to stop this afflicting blonde lifestyle before others are brainwashed into becoming blonde too. One such thought would be for salons to begin to put up diplomatic signs on the entrance of their doors that could say, "We no longer transform brunettes into blondes." I do realize the bonding that goes along with some of those great clients, so if that seems a bit too harsh, you could also post, "touch-ups now done once a year, for the sake of preventing the blonde pollution. Everyone needs to hang together on this and be faithful to the cause. We do need volunteers for this anti-blonde revolution and those who will be making signs for our peaceful protests as we march in selected areas that will bring us the most attention. We also need someone to remind the media to be there at our projected time. Others can bring refreshments. Those of you who are natural fundraisers might like to try your skills at raising some cash for this cause. We have a close friend of ours who is a brunette and has decided to have a booth at the next bird fair that is coming up next month. She said, she figures that anyone who has birds for pets can understand all of the caca someone goes through, just by being a brunette, when they have to compete with a blonde.
 
      If you would like to be a part of this movement to help bring all peroxide blondes back to the brunettes they were meant to be and help save our world, please dial 1- no-mo-blonde and leave a message or send me an email at substantialbrunette@hairwit.com. Remember, we are all in this together.
 
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